Jet Lag with PTSD is a Whole 'Nother Animal
I returned to New York from a 10 day trip in Japan this past Sunday.
It's now Thursday. Well, technically Friday at 2AM in the morning.
I think I really fucked myself sleeping 12 hours last night and taking multiple naps throughout the day.
The night before I slept a mere 2 hours though, so I should be kind to myself.
But it's hard. I'm annoyed, angry, and disappointed at myself and this newfound inability to acclimate to Asia --> US jet lag as well as I used to, pre-PTSD.
So here I am, falling back into vices and addictions I'd previously overcome in a desperate attempt to get some damn sleep.
And I hate myself for it. I feel weak. I feel I'm taking steps backward, instead of forward. My progress feels stunted. And it's no one's fault but mine.
And perhaps the Wright Bros faults too. For being the ingenious, ambitious, aviation pioneers they were. Just kidding.
Asia --> US jet lag, a particularly torturous form of jet lag, has never affected me this negatively before.
It was always difficult, but never something that would send me into a dark swirl of dysfunctional self-hatred.
But then again, I'm different now. I'm far from who I used to be. Trauma and PTSD translate into literal changes in brain structure and response mechanisms.
Be kind to yourself. Be kind to yourself. Be kind to yourself.
Let's try and change perspectives.
This time, the combination of notoriously difficult jet lag and PTSD took you by surprised. Let's learn from it.
Next time, you'll know what to expect.
You got this.
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